the well scrubbed kids...

"'you wanta go on a lecture tour to Utah university and Brown university and tell the well scrubbed kids?' - 'Scrubbed with what?' - 'Scrubbed with hopeless perfection of pioneer puritan hope that leaves nothing but dead pigeons to look at?'"

(jack kerouac, big sur)

the sad music of it all...

"'O the sad music of it all, I've done it all, seen it all, done everything with everybody' I say phone in hand, 'the whole world's coming on like a high school sophomor eager to learn what he calls New things, mind you, the same old sing-song sad song truth of death..."

(jack kerouac, big sur)

society & saviors of men...

"Crooked judges shaving and smiling in the morning on the way to their heinous indifferences, respectable generals ordering soldiers by telephone to go die or drop dead, pickpockets nodding in cells saying 'I never hurt anybody,' 'that's one thing you can say for me, yes sir,' women who regard themselves as saviors of men simply stealing their substance because they think their swan-rich necks deserve it anyway (though for every swan-rich neck you lose there's another ten waiting, each one ready to lay for a lemon), in fact awful hugefaced monsters of men just because their shirts are clean deigning to control the lives of working men by running for Govenor saying 'Your tax money in my hands will be aptly used,' 'You should realize how valuable I am and how much you need me, without me what would you be, not led at all?'"

(jack kerouac, big sur)

perry yturbide ... a very strange kid ...

"Perry smiling all glad - A very strange kid - It's been a long time in fact in my literary sort of life that I've met a real tough hombre like that out of jails and with those arms of steel and that fevered concern that scares governments and makes officials pale, that's why he's always put away in prison this type of man - Yes yet the type of man the country always needs when there's a little old war started by an aging governor - A real dangerous character, in fact, Perry, because tho I appreciate his poetic soul and everything I realize looking at him he's capable of exploding and killing someone for an idea maybe or for love."

(jack kerouac, big sur)

melancholia...

melancholia

berlin

"Die Berliner sind unfreundlich und rücksichtslos, ruppig und rechthaberisch, Berlin ist abstoßend, laut, dreckig und grau, Baustellen und verstopfte Straßen, wo man geht und steht – aber mir tun alle Menschen leid, die nicht hier leben können!" 

(Anneliese Bödecker)

mir auch...

the devil's water

They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while...

highly recommended...

Logorama from Marc Altshuler - Human Music on Vimeo.

keine frau...

"keine frau ist so schön, dass sie nicht irgendjemandes langeweile wäre."

(der autor des zitates ist mir entfallen...)

"that's what hell will be like..."

"that's what hell will be like, small chat to the babbling of Lethe about the good old days when we wished we were dead." 
(samuel beckett, embers)

it's been a long time since i read literature. and for good reason. i lost faith in it. 
i remember starting off with the belief i would learn more and more eventually. every poem, every book a puzzle piece, another step on the road to becoming a better, more knowledgeable person, someday hopefully a wise man.
this hope has vanished. i shall find some more beautiful pages and stories and lines, some constellations and characters that speak to me, but they won't add up and create anything new. they will not change the man i have become or shatter the angles from which i perceive the world. they don't contain the answers.
maybe it is time to leave these ruins behind. indulge in reality, getting my hands dirty and my mind busy and distracted. 
i have lost faith and as every infidel i feel the emptiness creeping at me and the judgement awaiting...